Mama's Lentil Soup

from Rise & Fall by Gabriela Georges

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about

It's often the little things we miss after someone is gone. For me, it was my mum's lentil soup.

Click here for the video: youtu.be/uBRlXU4IeIk

lyrics

I feel an emptiness
filled with lots of things
things I cannot name
but I know they're there
and they're brewing inside
like my Mama's favourite
lentil soup

it boils for under an hour until it's just right
until the colour is just right
until it simmers for just the right amount of time
and only she knows when it's ready

her years have taught her things you cannot learn
from reading a recipe book
no, her learning is instinctual
her learning has transformed into knowing

and when I ask her how much salt, pepper and cumin to add
she says, "you just know when it's enough"
"you just know"
"you just know"
as if I can translate that into some kind of measurement
as if that's just another metric
like a tablespoon, a cup, or 300mls
like i'm supposed to know what that means
but I don't
I never do
and I don't know if I ever will

I'm still young
I'm still childless
family-less
and I don't "just know" anything yet

but I do know that
my Mama wouldn't judge me
for not getting it right
she would only judge me for not trying

and so I try and try every time
doing my best to get it right
adding just enough salt, pepper and cumin
then I taste it and try again and
even when I think it's just about right
there always seems to be something missing

and so I
I always settle
for close enough
and accept the fact that
my mama's lentil soup
is my Mama's lentil soup for a reason

as I feel an emptiness filled with lots of things
things I cannot name
but I know they're there
and they're brewing inside
like my Mama's favourite
unforgettable
unmistakable
lentil soup.